yamneko: (anime)
I'm ready to quit my movie theater job. The last few days has been really busy, and I just want to scream and cry by the end of my shift, which is not in any way someone should be when leaving their MINIMUM WAGE JOB OMGGGG

I know it's the busy season/period, but stiillllll I was just dreading going in. And I'm so tired of my feet hurting. I'm going to research some podiatrist and find one to talk to. While I might not NEED surgery immediately, I feel like it's something I will probably need down the road, and so kind of want to do it while we have rocking insurance. But yeah, tired of my feet just hurting, not from being on them all day, but being in shoes all day and then my bunionettes being in pain. Like done.

The person I was trying to make friends with the other day was at work when I was, and I felt like they were kind of avoiding me, Like never came over to say hi, and hasn't really been responding to my texts. I'm going to try another few times in the the next week or so, and then give up. I wouldn't mind being the one reaching out all the time to initiate hanging out if they actually responded, but seeing as they are doing neither.....

There's another person at work that might be a nice friend, but they're like 10 years younger than me and ~.~ Don't really want 18 year olds as my only friends??? Husband had suggested going back to school, but when I took that class at SMC I was like "omg everyone here is so young" so I wouldnt be getting away from the 18 year old friend there either.

I'm not really sure what to do. Now that a lot of the election stuff has calmed down, I might try reaching out to the Repub friend, but IDK.

I'm going to (try) to talk to a manager and put my two week notice in at end of shift Thursday. It'll depend on how hectic it is and whats going on, but I don't think it'll be too bad, compared to Christmas or the day after.  (Or new years, that weekend)

I've lasted longer than I had at Macy's, so yay?? Just a month longer though. I guess about 6 months is my limit for how long I can stand working on my feet part time dealing with customers all day. 
yamneko: (anime)
mmm yes, aniexty attack before going to work @.@

I think it was brought on by timing. Like "make sure I eat by X, etc" and I threw a wrench in it by taking a shower. A short shower that did not really affect my timing on anything. BUT DOESNT STOP THE PANIC!

also probably by being like "I should do some QA before I leave" and then not really doing it. And feeling like I'm failing them there. And not doing enough art work. LIKE NO REAL EXCUSE TO NOT WRK ON IT! Could I have been done with all this not only months ago, but also like, by the end of Dec? Sure, if I acutally worked on it! WHICH I DONT! IM SO FUCKING USELESS

and spiral panic. Sigh.

I need to be more disciplined and actually keep to my plans for work. I can do this. I can be disciplined. It's not about skill, it's about just doing it.
yamneko: (anime)
Alright, this weekend isnt a total bust from husband's lack of consideration and respect, but it is feeling pretty rough.

I still need to: Decide on jewelry to wear, to do up or not do up the little witch hat, cut the apples, decide on tights or socks for the outfit.


I think I'm just going to cut the apples up at the event. I have the cheese and grapes all set and ready, but the apples are not done yet; really because I don't want them to brown before getting there. I thought about cutting them up in the morning, but that's still 2-3 hours before they would even be served. Even though I got some lemons, I don't know if it would be fine.

Cutting up the apples at the event.

Socks would require the garter belt or sock glue. Tights are well, tights. I bought some M/L tights in an opaque black. I'm not looking forward to that much pressure overall on my lower abdomen, but the garter glasps will dig into the back of my leg while driving or sitting, and the sock glue, while isnt bad... can hurt after wearing it for a lot of hours. (Not to mention snagging pain) so I will try the tights I haven't even worn yet.

The colors of the outfit are light purple and black. I don't have any light purple ribbon roses though, (or even ribbon for that matter. If I had thought about it more, I could have bought some and tried to make some roses, however if I had planned on making them today, that would have no ended up working). I have some dark purple roses, which I might use with the black ones. They might match my hair? (or I'll end up with 3 different shades or purple, whatever) I still think Im going to do the one or two buns. Which I will put up at the event, so I can actually drive and not strain my neck. (I cant put my head against the rest with buns)

So for Jewelry, I can use the large camero and use it to help pin the blouse to stay up (it likes to slide down in the chest) with maybe the black choker? I got and if I can find both of them, the black wrist cuffs I made last year. I might have some black rose earrings I can use.

I painted my nails in hopes of fitting the color scheme, but I'm feeling like I should have just not bothered. I didn't let them dry enough between coats, so they just keep getting marred.

There was so much I had wanted and needed to get done today, I'm still trying to, but having been up so late with drunk husband is just... infuriating. I had told him I had work the next day, and he totally disregarded it. All the apologies in the world don't make up for the amount of disrepect I've been shown. Repeatedly. I'm trying to not let it ruin the weekend, but I am so tired and kind of don't want to go to the meet, but I'm carpooling with a friend, so I can't bail on her. And I do want to go! But so tired too. So angry this had to happen. Why does it happen when there's stuff I WANT TO DO???

I really think it's time to start some therapy sessions. Single or couples. I don't even know what for, but this is some bullshit.

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