yamneko: (Default)
 I need to get better about checking all the bills in a timely fashion >.>

Things are starting to be on track a little better now. The sewing machine from my friend might actually meet my needs for now, I just need to figure out how to use it. 

Applied to some jobs, went to two interviews, however I have not heard back from either of them. Might call them today and see, but I feel like if they decided to go with someone else. 

My mood overall has been positive. My face is maybe starting to heal?? it's hard to tell, since it started to look better for a moment and then got worse again. 

I dont think September will be as busy as August was, but October may turn out to be busy, since HALLOWEEN! 

Hopefully soon we'll here from hubs work about his raise.. and that will determine a lot of stuff going forward for us here. I hope it's good news. 

My goals for the next two weeks are to finish the blue alice dress, and try and get his allergies under control, or at least improved some. I'm not sure why I wouldnt have the alice dress done in a week, but at this rate it could very well take the full 2. I can't spend more time than that on it though, since i still have the apron and skull to make. And fix the wig... 
yamneko: (Default)
 Ah forgot to do this. 

I've finished the 1st alice cosplay sewing, got most of the wig detangled, applied for two jobs, and I feel like there was another thing i've done, but can't think on it. We'd gone to Florida to look at places for his folks, uh yeah.

I'm still crying at not having a working sewing machine I can use dependably. Today my car is gonna cost us 615 to get some things fixed/serviced, so any hopes I had of sneakily or convincing hubs on letting me get the 600 machine is gone. 

So I'm going to apply for more jobs. Between trying to save (we've had to take the money that was to go to savings to checking twice now) and trying to get a new sewing machine... I just really need a job that will pay me more than minimum wage and give me over 10 hours a week, AT LEAST! Less than that isn't really worth it. 

I've been going through a period of "feeling useless", more so since I'd gone from "gotta clean all the things" to not having that anymore... so I'll have to work extra hard so when I go and apply for everything and get not reply or just rejects, i wont feel super useless and unhirable to everyone. I'm going to try to work on doing more little pictures, and see if I can't start maybe selling them for like $5-$10 a pop. 

I can feel the depression threatening to take over, since I dont have a lot to distract myself and the world is on fire. 
yamneko: (Default)
 Oh man! end of the month review! 

So these past two weeks,  I havent done a lot! Trying to work on sewing... but I havent. I havent been drawing really... 

But I really want to! I feel like I really want to get back into the stuff, and work on a schedule/days to work on the stuff. 

Yeah that might be better. "Today I work on X projects" and not have so much a time set, but just "when I feel like doing something or having nothing else to do, I do This" 

I did work on the apron today, and I honestly feel like there's a lot wrong with it still lol. I need to redo where the stuff attactches on the waist band I think, and might need to redo the neckline, but it's coming a long?? it's not like super shitty terrible.

These next two weeks I need to focus on cleaning though, my parents are coming and it would be nice to have the place not be a mess. 
Also want to work on doing more art work, and sewing the rest of the cosplay, and working on the wig, and seeing about that Vorpal blade. 

I have a busy month in terms of events and things going on, but it should all be good!! 

I feel like my mood has been a lot more positive, a few negative days here and there, but it's been good. 
yamneko: (Default)
 Okay! July has not been Great in terms of Getting Stuff Done. I was in a holding pattern for a lot of it; waiting for fabric, waiting for my machine to be fixed... but that should mostly be over now. I am still waiting on getting the 3d printed vorpal blade, but I got plenty to work on instead. That said, all that waiting had for sure killed the Productivity Kick I was on. I'm now trying to get back into that swing of things; making plushies, making art, etc. 

Speaking of art, I bought a cheap sketch book to just fill up with doodles. My large strathmore is getting  bit full, and while I have a small one and half, i feel like with it the sketches need to be more intended, than what I really need to do for myself right now. I'm using the cheap one with a ballpoint pen and just working on filling the pages up. Just kind of doing whatever i feel like sketching, good or bad, random, etc. 

I've gotten to some DR appointments and hopefully with those changes I can get my face and other things, and get on the mend with that. 

I've been trying to work out; it was going well enough, but then I took a rest day once too many, and starting over. I still need to do my work out for the day.....

I know the last review I mentioned something about being on hold on everything...  

But I think I've been feeling really good; other than a few days were I was really down, but I would say good in terms of mood. 

I've been spending too much money lately... donating to people, buying stuff for myself, on top of the stuff for sewing/cospaly. I really need to reign it in. 
yamneko: (Default)
Alright! I have not gotten as far as I wanted on my cosplay, but I'm still making progress on it. I'm waiting for stuff to do more sewing (both cosplay and plushies) but I should have be able to start working on them again at least some, this coming week. 

I've also decided to star a store! As a thing to encourage me to work on more sewing and artwork, and I've been bothering a friend for tps, advice, and a second pair of eyes. 

Also started working on emotes for twitch, which seems to be in demand, so there will be plenty of work there.

Started working on the hide and seek scenes. I've only started on my second one, and not so happy with how they are turning out, but all I can do is keep going until I really learn what I am looking for. 

Also started working out. I think I found something I can do well enough to keep with it, but it's only day 4 so far. 

These past few weeks seems like it's mostly been starting stuff! I am feeling a little overwhelmed with the amount of things, so it's going to be a challenge to keep motivation up. 
yamneko: (Default)
 I took the CPR certification class
Made like 2-3 plushies
started my cosplay
made two more Carmella's Garden pieces, and even sold one. 

There was a brief moment of depression going on, which I can't say is 100% gone right now, but is lesser at the moment. 

For the rest of the month I want to work on the cosplay, at least have a decent bodice mock and got a sleeve attached right. Depending on how long that takes, at least have started the purple lace bunny if not also completed it too. I would honestly like to work out 2-3 times a week. I'm going to try it, but not hold it against myself if I dont complete it, as the last week I was bleeding and cramping and miserable from it. 

End of May

May. 30th, 2017 04:13 pm
yamneko: (Default)
 Writing the bimonthly check thing while in a bad mood is probably not a good idea, but lets do it anyway.

I think I've been in good spirits most of the last two weeks. I went to a con for a day, and working on becoming better friends with others. I am going to another con in a few months, and want to have two cosplays ready for it. Sewing! Also making a lot of plushies. I've only made 1, started a second in the last two weeks, but I have plans for about 3 more at least. It's what my mood is into right now. I'm super excited for it.

I havent done a lot of programming; I should try harder. But that's how I always feel about it, and a lot of stuff.

I'm not sure what else to review here. 
yamneko: (Default)
It's mid month!
Read more... )

- Need to spend more time of off the internet
- Need to work on "How to Wake up" when tired/dont want to do stuff

- New plushies
- Pick/start theme for Tumblr OR DW
- Start new Garden Pals  piece (and decide on name for them)
 - another thing??

yamneko: (Default)
 I keep forgetting to do these. 

But anyway, here is one, because I am feeling really low and depressed and useless. I've been having a really hard time to get myself to work on things; art or working out. Even some house chores take longer than they really should. 

My energy levels, I feel, have been lower than normal too. There's been a rather lot of days(more than there should ever be) where I just feel low energy, or cramping and a tad.. sick and off?? in some pain. I don't want it to be an excuse, and I feel like I'm using it for one. I still do stuff in this state, but it all feels like it takes so much more energy to do it. So then I just do the bare minimum. 

I've also hard another rough blow to my self esteem; I applied for a short term QA job, and thought I would get it, but then did not. Although when I talked it over with Hubs about the one technical question they gave, I had missed something big; in my assumptions in everything. I try to not let it get to me, but I don't think I'm quiet over it yet. 

I have been working on some things, so it's not like I haven't been doing NOTHING, but it all feels like not enough. I could be doing more things, like actually working out. (But if it takes so much will power to just do dishes, and feeling so low energy, is working out really something I can do?)

Okay, so what HAVE I done this last month?
  • Quick t-shirt design for TN.
  • Some panels and a banner for a person.
  • Working on a larger panel theme (got like 5 of them done???)
  • Worked on a logo for TN
  • Did do a small piece with the Garden Pals; trying out a new design for them.
  • Made a bat plushie!!!
  • Still working on the scarf (Getting a few 8-row increments a week)
  • Kept up on my QA work (bare minimum, I do NEED to do more with it)
That's still a good deal of stuff! 

So what Do I want to work on for the next 2-4 weeks?
  • Working out
  • CSS and websites
  • an extra 30-60 min of QA testing (compatibility) 
  • More art
A I always feel I do better with a schedule, but it's so hard for me to stick to one when it's just myself and house things. I'm not really sure how to get around that, but I have had mild success before, so I think I'm just going to have to try harder. 

Working out - I do 100% prefer to do it in the morning. I would love to do start it at 9, however a lot of times I'm, just rolling hubs out of bed. I think, if I try to do Yoga at 8:30, that might be better. If not that, then start hooping as soon as he leaves. Move the coffee table, put on Ronja, and do 10-30 min! The goal is to try and do this 3 times a week, so not even every day! 

CSS - I have no idea when a good time for me to work on this is. I thought morning, then afternoon, but none seem to have felt "right". Mornings are often house chores, until even up to 2 or later. I think, I'll try to do 4-5 for CSS. I usually go "Ooaf" and relax some before doing whatever I need to start dinner. But there's hardly ever any house chores I do at that time. I think giving it that chunk will be good. I can start what I need for dinner and then have 30 or so min to relax (as dinner is cooking and just waiting for hubs to come home at that point)

Extra QA - Honestly, this isn't even "extra" stuff. They are things I should be doing, but have not because the mobile experience is such crap.  The extra time will be nice on the paychecks, as I feel it's fallen to the way some. I will dedicate more time on Fridays to doing this job. There's no reason why I can't. I should make sure as many house chores are done the day before, or to be done Saturday, so they will not be an excuse to put this time off.

Art - I don't know what I can do other than sit down and do this. I have been actually working on things, and I just need to keep it up. 

I've been feeling like I could really use a therapist lately. I don't want to go through the steps of trying to find one; I'm so weird about it. This post has helped me refocus some. I'm going to talk to my gyno about some issues that might be related to the energy levels, which I think if that can be fixed, will be a large help. 

If, in the 2-4 weeks when I re-eval everything, I still feel like I'm struggling badly, I will start the process of finding someone. The first step will probably be to figure out what KIND of therapist I want; like what their specialty is. I know my thoughts on that has changed a bit. Luckily I have met someone who I think would be okay with my talking to her about it and giving me some ideas on what to look for.  
yamneko: (anime)
I'm feeling a bit like I'm drowning again.

I think it's from the list of stuff on hold for the moment, and money. (and my own failings at things but anyway)

My wrist has been bothering me a good deal lately. Not enough to say it's in pain, but it is stiff and I'm not taking care of it well. For a while I blamed holding my phone since I had gotten a new phone game and been holding it in my right hand and stuff. I'm sure it has not helped, but I think also using the laptop touchpad is also a cause. The combination between using the two has strained my wrist. It's just bothersome at all.

I've moved to using my laptop only for the most part is because my desktop will just randomly crash. It can have just started up and crash within 10 minutes, or I'll have spent hours playing games or doing other things and then it's fine? There's no single cause I can figure out why it's crashing, and when I manage to get a glimpse of the BSOD for the 2 seconds it's on screen, the error message changes. Some errors appear with frequency, but others I've only seen a few times. It's a different thing each time. Any solution I've tried as clearly not worked. So I've stopped using my desktop frequently. The laptop is fine for general surfing, and I had been doing (some) unity work on it, but above, wrist issue with the touchpad. I don't have a good set up that I can use a mouse with the laptop with ease, so I've stopped using a mouse with it too. I want my desktop to stop crashing so I can use photoshop, or do anything with it without worry. It probably needs the mother board replaced.

I have been trying to do more art, and I'm glad for the discord channel I'm in (even if the previous one was more active) but also started slacking on that even. I bring out what I want to use to the coffee table in the living room, which is half taken up by my laptop, and cups and well, everything. It's the only table out here. I can't really work on things that will need actual space. It's not that bad actually. I enjoy the items I use, but I have to always pack them up when I'm going to eat or something. I think that's a bit frustrating too. All my art supplies jumbled in a box I have to dig through to find anything. I hope to get that remedied soon though, so it'll be easier to find whatever I want to use.

Related, sewing! I want to sew more! I've fallen in love with some plushie patterns, since they are small and if I truly hate the result, I can probably give it away to someone. I want to do cloths, but my sewing "desk" is also just a coffee table. Trying to sew larger pieces is a pain. That's why I moved on to the plushies! Minky fabric though, a great fabric for soft cuddly animals, is $12/yard. I don't feel like I'm ready for that as expensive of fabric yet, but I managed to find some for 6-8 a yard. I want to sew this next plushie, but I'm leaving in a week for a week, and don't want to leave the room a mess while I'm gone. It's relatively cleaned up right now, so I want to leave it that way. However I think I'm itching to make something, so trying to hold myself back feels terrible.

Money! Hubs had taken a week+ vacation with his dad and a friend of his, which we ended up spending a lot of money for. He also built a new comptuer (for gaming and game design). These combined has maxed out credit cards, one of them I had even paid off!!! So I feel a bit frustrated with that. Seeing the hard work of getting them paid off to be blasted out of the water. He's getting a bonus for a new hire, and when that comes through it'll help pay off at least one, maybe two of the cards. But it's a bit hard to tell how much of the money we'll actually get when it's taxed. We did our taxes, and apparently my theater job didn't pay income tax. WTF? So we end up owing money. Like 476. It really blows. Also just paid yearly tags for the bike and hubs new truck. All these tings all over the place! I want to cry and throw a fit! When I get back from my trip, hopefully all these things will stop. Well, after we get the mobo. And probably another thing or three ><

We've also agreed to start eating better and to get into shape. Hubs had come back with a cold so we're recovering from that before trying to do get back into the workout portion. But we've been working on the diet portion. I feel like I've been failing at it though, with a few chai lattes in the past week. I'm not sure what is "good" food and what is "bad" food.

I feel pretty good socially though; there had been a lot I had gone to when Hubs was out of town, to help keep sanity, and I don't really see much of a reaosn why that will really stop. I think it's at once a week at this moment, and I think that's good. I don't feel terrible about that.

There's just a lot I want to deal with, but just feel like I can't deal with, just yet. and the waiting is kind of killing me. 
yamneko: (anime)
I have not done anything producitve for days. Any while it felt nice to not feel "pressure" I can feel myself slipping off of whatever bandwagon/motivation that I had started with.  Like I dont WANT to stop doing stuff, I want to keep going, but I also want time to just... do nothing and watch tv. So really I think that means I need to adjust my schedule and find new blanace in it.

However the last few days too, my wrist has been hurting. I think it's from too much phone game (and how the laptop angle is when you have it on your lap or tummy on the beanbag. ) I had been reluncatant to do stuff because of it. But the month is half over already and I feel so under accomplished.

It's rainy and dreary out today, after being some nice mid 50 to 60 dergee weather. But since last week I've had some crazy allergies and lots of sneezing and running nose. Which has made my thoat sore with post-nasal drip. The allergy pills I take normally don't seem to be helping a ton. I keep wondering if it's a cold (because of the crazy 20+ degree shift lately too) but I haven't felt anyworse (no fever, no real general ugh feeling), just itchy nose, sneezing and runny nose. Somedays there were a lot of sneezing that made me feel blah, but still not enough to say "I am sick". Lucky I guess?

Crafting Summary:
I had started a wallet from a pattern, while I don't think the final product is going to look well, it was a fun project. I thought it would take me like a week, but I had just not been working on it at a good pace. I screwed up on it yesterday and in the process of undoing seams. I don't know what I'm going to do with the wallet when I'm done. I'll see if someone on FB wants the hideous thing. But I'm making it so I have something to enter in the "contest" and get the discount on a plush pattern I want. I was hoping to get the wallet done AND work on another plush for the contest, but I don't think I'll get there in time.

I've also had the urge to embroider. I think because it's a small "in your lap" project and I feel like there's been a lot of down time in Conan (waiting for it to load) and it was just a nice little thing. I, however, have no idea WHAT to embroider.

CSS Sumary:
Hubs sat down with me and I learned some tricks to help me find items. It was good. I found the problem with the issues that were bothering me, and it's looking good. Well good enough. I haven't started messing with any sort of position changing of the content. The layout is still pretty much the same, just different colored. I would like to get it done by the end of the week. I have a few more things to change on it (comment section) and find some sort of image background. I think that's all pretty do-able. If I actually work on it.

Art Summary:
I'm closer to the little picture being done. I knew it would take me a while to get it done (part of the nature of water color and letting it air dry, and me trying to not just rush it) but I feel like it's taken a little longer than I would have liked. I really only have the forest background left to do on it. But other than that, I have not really been doing any other art. I need to drag the sketchbook back out and try to do more in it again. At least work on sketching out new scenes or something.

Game Summary:
I haven't played much Okami since that one day last week. I don't feel super bad about it, but knowing it's a Thing I Want To Get Done, I know I need to keep at it to get it done. I have less than 10 beads left. I finished Waku shrine and need to get the beads that all unlocks. Hopefully I can get 9 and 10 now. I dont know why this save didn't have them, but another one did. Other than that, I haven't made any progress on other Games to Complete.

Anime Summary:
I've finished Space Brothers! They left it on a bit of a cliff-hanger, but not such a terrible one that I hate where it ended, just would like to have more. I haven't picked what anime to start next. None have really grabbed my attention yet, but there's a few live action series on Netflix I would like to do too, so one of them i watched like two more episodes of, and another have about one episode left. I'm worried about not finishing them before they get removed, so I might focus on those while I still hem and haw about the next anime to watch.


I think this is a rather good idea. Doing a Bi-Monthly Review. Like the 15th and last day of the month. A good little summary thing. 


yamneko: (Default)

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