I keep forgetting to do these.
But anyway, here is one, because I am feeling really low and depressed and useless. I've been having a really hard time to get myself to work on things; art or working out. Even some house chores take longer than they really should.
My energy levels, I feel, have been lower than normal too. There's been a rather lot of days(more than there should ever be) where I just feel low energy, or cramping and a tad.. sick and off?? in some pain. I don't want it to be an excuse, and I feel like I'm using it for one. I still do stuff in this state, but it all feels like it takes so much more energy to do it. So then I just do the bare minimum.
I've also hard another rough blow to my self esteem; I applied for a short term QA job, and thought I would get it, but then did not. Although when I talked it over with Hubs about the one technical question they gave, I had missed something big; in my assumptions in everything. I try to not let it get to me, but I don't think I'm quiet over it yet.
I have been working on some things, so it's not like I haven't been doing NOTHING, but it all feels like not enough. I could be doing more things, like actually working out. (But if it takes so much will power to just do dishes, and feeling so low energy, is working out really something I can do?)
Okay, so what HAVE I done this last month?
- Quick t-shirt design for TN.
- Some panels and a banner for a person.
- Working on a larger panel theme (got like 5 of them done???)
- Worked on a logo for TN
- Did do a small piece with the Garden Pals; trying out a new design for them.
- Made a bat plushie!!!
- Still working on the scarf (Getting a few 8-row increments a week)
- Kept up on my QA work (bare minimum, I do NEED to do more with it)
That's still a good deal of stuff!
So what Do I want to work on for the next 2-4 weeks?
- Working out
- CSS and websites
- an extra 30-60 min of QA testing (compatibility)
- More art
A I always feel I do better with a schedule, but it's so hard for me to stick to one when it's just myself and house things. I'm not really sure how to get around that, but I have had mild success before, so I think I'm just going to have to try harder. Working out
- I do 100% prefer to do it in the morning. I would love to do start it at 9, however a lot of times I'm, just rolling hubs out of bed. I think, if I try to do Yoga at 8:30, that might be better. If not that, then start hooping as soon as he leaves. Move the coffee table, put on Ronja, and do 10-30 min! The goal is to try and do this 3 times a week, so not even every day! CSS
- I have no idea when a good time for me to work on this is. I thought morning, then afternoon, but none seem to have felt "right". Mornings are often house chores, until even up to 2 or later. I think, I'll try to do 4-5 for CSS. I usually go "Ooaf" and relax some before doing whatever I need to start dinner. But there's hardly ever any house chores I do at that time. I think giving it that chunk will be good. I can start what I need for dinner and then have 30 or so min to relax (as dinner is cooking and just waiting for hubs to come home at that point)Extra QA
- Honestly, this isn't even "extra" stuff. They are things I should
be doing, but have not because the mobile experience is such crap. The extra time will be nice on the paychecks, as I feel it's fallen to the way some. I will dedicate more time on Fridays to doing this job. There's no reason why I can't. I should make sure as many house chores are done the day before, or to be done Saturday, so they will not be an excuse to put this time off.Art
- I don't know what I can do other than sit down and do this. I have been actually working on things, and I just need to keep it up.
I've been feeling like I could really use a therapist lately. I don't want to go through the steps of trying to find one; I'm so weird about it. This post has helped me refocus some. I'm going to talk to my gyno about some issues that might be related to the energy levels, which I think if that can be fixed, will be a large help.
If, in the 2-4 weeks when I re-eval everything, I still feel like I'm struggling badly, I will start the process of finding someone. The first step will probably be to figure out what KIND of therapist I want; like what their specialty is. I know my thoughts on that has changed a bit. Luckily I have met someone who I think would be okay with my talking to her about it and giving me some ideas on what to look for.