May. 2nd, 2017

5/2 goals

May. 2nd, 2017 08:48 am
yamneko: (Default)
 Vet appointment
grocery store
invoice together and sent
dishes
put laundry away

if I can manage creative work, do some of that. 

Yesterday I assume hormone related issues happened and I just felt so out of energy, slightly nauseous at times, and some cramping going on, but not enough for me to really say "I am cramping" just general all over ugh feeling, with a slightly more ugh feeling in my lower torso area. 

And then I had a hard time falling asleep last night, so this morning I am tired and cranky. A nap will be had after vet/lunch for sure. 

Oh ugh.. dinner. What am I going to do for dinner... maybe we can just go out instead today

2pm: yay! I've done all the stuff on the list. I'm going to do some QA work after this but anyway, i've remembered to do the review thing, mostly because I'm feeling rather depressed and useless. I do really just want some personal energy back and not everything to feel like a battle to get done with myself. 
yamneko: (Default)
 I keep forgetting to do these. 

But anyway, here is one, because I am feeling really low and depressed and useless. I've been having a really hard time to get myself to work on things; art or working out. Even some house chores take longer than they really should. 

My energy levels, I feel, have been lower than normal too. There's been a rather lot of days(more than there should ever be) where I just feel low energy, or cramping and a tad.. sick and off?? in some pain. I don't want it to be an excuse, and I feel like I'm using it for one. I still do stuff in this state, but it all feels like it takes so much more energy to do it. So then I just do the bare minimum. 

I've also hard another rough blow to my self esteem; I applied for a short term QA job, and thought I would get it, but then did not. Although when I talked it over with Hubs about the one technical question they gave, I had missed something big; in my assumptions in everything. I try to not let it get to me, but I don't think I'm quiet over it yet. 

I have been working on some things, so it's not like I haven't been doing NOTHING, but it all feels like not enough. I could be doing more things, like actually working out. (But if it takes so much will power to just do dishes, and feeling so low energy, is working out really something I can do?)

Okay, so what HAVE I done this last month?
  • Quick t-shirt design for TN.
  • Some panels and a banner for a person.
  • Working on a larger panel theme (got like 5 of them done???)
  • Worked on a logo for TN
  • Did do a small piece with the Garden Pals; trying out a new design for them.
  • Made a bat plushie!!!
  • Still working on the scarf (Getting a few 8-row increments a week)
  • Kept up on my QA work (bare minimum, I do NEED to do more with it)
That's still a good deal of stuff! 

So what Do I want to work on for the next 2-4 weeks?
  • Working out
  • CSS and websites
  • an extra 30-60 min of QA testing (compatibility) 
  • More art
A I always feel I do better with a schedule, but it's so hard for me to stick to one when it's just myself and house things. I'm not really sure how to get around that, but I have had mild success before, so I think I'm just going to have to try harder. 

Working out - I do 100% prefer to do it in the morning. I would love to do start it at 9, however a lot of times I'm, just rolling hubs out of bed. I think, if I try to do Yoga at 8:30, that might be better. If not that, then start hooping as soon as he leaves. Move the coffee table, put on Ronja, and do 10-30 min! The goal is to try and do this 3 times a week, so not even every day! 

CSS - I have no idea when a good time for me to work on this is. I thought morning, then afternoon, but none seem to have felt "right". Mornings are often house chores, until even up to 2 or later. I think, I'll try to do 4-5 for CSS. I usually go "Ooaf" and relax some before doing whatever I need to start dinner. But there's hardly ever any house chores I do at that time. I think giving it that chunk will be good. I can start what I need for dinner and then have 30 or so min to relax (as dinner is cooking and just waiting for hubs to come home at that point)

Extra QA - Honestly, this isn't even "extra" stuff. They are things I should be doing, but have not because the mobile experience is such crap.  The extra time will be nice on the paychecks, as I feel it's fallen to the way some. I will dedicate more time on Fridays to doing this job. There's no reason why I can't. I should make sure as many house chores are done the day before, or to be done Saturday, so they will not be an excuse to put this time off.

Art - I don't know what I can do other than sit down and do this. I have been actually working on things, and I just need to keep it up. 

I've been feeling like I could really use a therapist lately. I don't want to go through the steps of trying to find one; I'm so weird about it. This post has helped me refocus some. I'm going to talk to my gyno about some issues that might be related to the energy levels, which I think if that can be fixed, will be a large help. 

If, in the 2-4 weeks when I re-eval everything, I still feel like I'm struggling badly, I will start the process of finding someone. The first step will probably be to figure out what KIND of therapist I want; like what their specialty is. I know my thoughts on that has changed a bit. Luckily I have met someone who I think would be okay with my talking to her about it and giving me some ideas on what to look for.  

5/3 goals

May. 2nd, 2017 07:39 pm
yamneko: (Default)
  •  Work out in the morning!
  • Put on flea med on the pets
  • gyno appt!
  • do some more lettuce sketches
  • start hubs new panels
  • CSS!

10am: Feeling pretty good! Woke up feeling full of energy and positive! My knee is bothering more, so the yoga I did today should have helped stretch out my hamstring some. Speaking of, it was a challenge to keep up and do it all! Some of it was definitely beyond my ability. I'm going to do more stretches throughout the day for it too.

This afternoon will be the biggest challenge; if I can keep my energy and focus up.  I've only been up two hours but I already start to feel tired. I think I need to make a plan or some choices of "what to do if I start to feel X" Like go to the cafe, walk the dog about, 15 min nap, etc. Just trying to fight it by itself is a bad thing, so I need to re-energize and redirect myself. Having those options will help. 

Now to do some more morning house chores before my appointment! 

12:30pm: The appointment went quickly. Some back pain started up, so I've taken some Ibu, and might get the heat pack as I draw at the computer.  The dog is trying to bully me into taking him to the office for treats. I want to start the art by 1 or 1:30

4pm: I had gotten a call my RX was fill about 2, so I ran out and got it and some other shopping done in the area I wanted to do. I had a small nap right before it since I was feeling so tired.  Now I'm trying to do some CSS! I've got about half of what I've lost done. It's not the same code as before; I know there is something I added this time that I didn't have to use before, but it's the same results, so I can't complain too much right??

My lower back has been hurting almost all day. It started up while I was at the dr's office, and 2 ibu and a heatback doesnt seemed to have helped much. I thought it was cramping, but it might also be from the yoga this morning (or a mix) it doent hurt a lot, but enough to be annoying. 



This evening is anime night with a friend! Excited.

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